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Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one…
Joined: Jan 2005 Gender: Male  Posts: 1,384 Location: Bradford
|  | Groanables (aka Scott's kinda jokes) « Result #6 on Jan 13, 2008, 3:47am » | |
> > I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. > > Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest. > > Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. > > The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. > > The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his work. > > To write with a broken pencil is pointless. > > When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. > > The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. > > A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months. > > A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. > > When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. > > The dead batteries were given out free of charge. > > A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail. > > A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. > > A will is a dead giveaway. > > Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. > > A backward poet writes inverse. > > In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. > > A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. > > If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. > > Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner. > > The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. > > A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. > > You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. > > A calendar's days are numbered. > > A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine. > > A boiled egg is hard to beat. > > He had a photographic memory which was never developed. > > Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. > > When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. > > When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye. > > Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. > > Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. > > Acupuncture: a jab well done. >
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