Post by yoda on Nov 6, 2006 17:32:35 GMT -5
When our cycling forefathers embarked upon the apparently noble mechanical crusade to make cycling better, little did they know what consequences their actions would bring. In 1896 an Englishman E.H. Hodgkinson patented a 3-speed Gradient gear, a pre-cursor of the modern derailleur, and from this moment forth the world began to experience increasing global temperatures.
The table below clearly illustrates the correlation between volume of gears and global temperatures.
Decade / Gears / Average Temperature (in degree celsius)
1880-1889 2 13.82
1890-1899 3 13.69
1900-1909 3 13.74
1910-1919 3 13.79
1920-1929 3 13.91
1930-1939 3 14.02
1940-1949 3 14.05
1950-1959 5 13.98
1960-1969 5 13.94
1970-1979 7 14.02
1980-1989 8 14.26
1990-1999 9 14.4
2000-2005 10 14.62
Note the slight temperature “spike” in “1940-1949”, is it coincidence that the in 1949 the Hercules Herailleur a rear derailleur with indexed shift levers was launched? It was a mere 3 speed setup,but was indexed! Could it be that it’s not only the volume of gears, but also their complexity that fuels global warming?
The 50’s and 60’s saw little gear innovation, and guess what happened, a bloody great statistically significant decline in global temperatures!
1985 Shimano introduces SIS indexed shifting and from here on we are on an out of control rollercoaster of ramped up graphing and pernicious upgrading: indexed gears, , STI, gripshift, 8 speed, 9 speed, 10 speed, flappy paddle shifters… and ultimately the end of the world as we know it*!!!
In a bid to correct this dreadful situation I'm proud to be a purveyor of fine fixed and single speed bicycle produce and sincerely implores all cyclists to negate their shifty bits, build a one speed and make the world a better place.
“Shift and a Polar Bear Dies!” stickers may be available shortly.
* maybe
The table below clearly illustrates the correlation between volume of gears and global temperatures.
Decade / Gears / Average Temperature (in degree celsius)
1880-1889 2 13.82
1890-1899 3 13.69
1900-1909 3 13.74
1910-1919 3 13.79
1920-1929 3 13.91
1930-1939 3 14.02
1940-1949 3 14.05
1950-1959 5 13.98
1960-1969 5 13.94
1970-1979 7 14.02
1980-1989 8 14.26
1990-1999 9 14.4
2000-2005 10 14.62
Note the slight temperature “spike” in “1940-1949”, is it coincidence that the in 1949 the Hercules Herailleur a rear derailleur with indexed shift levers was launched? It was a mere 3 speed setup,but was indexed! Could it be that it’s not only the volume of gears, but also their complexity that fuels global warming?
The 50’s and 60’s saw little gear innovation, and guess what happened, a bloody great statistically significant decline in global temperatures!
1985 Shimano introduces SIS indexed shifting and from here on we are on an out of control rollercoaster of ramped up graphing and pernicious upgrading: indexed gears, , STI, gripshift, 8 speed, 9 speed, 10 speed, flappy paddle shifters… and ultimately the end of the world as we know it*!!!
In a bid to correct this dreadful situation I'm proud to be a purveyor of fine fixed and single speed bicycle produce and sincerely implores all cyclists to negate their shifty bits, build a one speed and make the world a better place.
“Shift and a Polar Bear Dies!” stickers may be available shortly.
* maybe
