Post by Knacker on Jan 13, 2008 3:47:27 GMT -5
>
> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>
> Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.
>
> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
>
> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
>
> The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his work.
>
> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
>
> When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
>
> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
>
> A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
>
> A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
>
> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
>
> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
>
> A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
>
> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>
> A will is a dead giveaway.
>
> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
> A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
>
> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>
> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
>
> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.
>
> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
>
> You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
> A calendar's days are numbered.
>
> A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
>
> A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>
> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>
> When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
>
> When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>
> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>
> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>
> Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.
>
> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
>
> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
>
> The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his work.
>
> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
>
> When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
>
> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
>
> A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
>
> A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
>
> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
>
> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
>
> A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
>
> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>
> A will is a dead giveaway.
>
> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
> A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
>
> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>
> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
>
> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.
>
> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
>
> You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
> A calendar's days are numbered.
>
> A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
>
> A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>
> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>
> When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
>
> When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>
> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>