Post by moe on Jan 31, 2006 8:15:25 GMT -5
1. Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.
2. Mr. T can walk on water. He can also walk on fire. His preference
however, is to walk on fools.
3. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
4. Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.
5. Contrary to popular belief, Mr. T was not beat by Sylvester Stallone in Rocky III. He actually lost to Stallone's stuntman, Chuck Norris. It took 5 hours of work by a dozen makeup artists to make Chuck Norris ugly enough to be a believable Stallone. Even with Chuck Norris, it was still necessary to use 3 metric tons of animal traquilizers to knock Mr. T out long enough for a 10 count.
6. When in the presence of Mr.T a magic-8-ball ALWAYS predicts PAIN!
7. The stork does not deliver babies; Mr. T throws them to your doorstep. The baby has already been blessed with his pity and branded a fool.
8. Satan sold his soul to Mr. T.
9. Mr T tried to break the speed of light in the A-Team van because he wanted to prove that quantum physices was a bunch of Jibba Jabba.
10. The police stopped him doin 100fps - thats 100 fools pitied per second
11. When Mr. T isn't busy pitying fools, he gives back to the community by teaching a Jibba Jabba As A Second Language class to immigrants.
12. Mr. T shot J.R
13. When Chuck Norris interrupted Mr. T's breakfast of diesel fuel and shovels, Mr. T stood up and Chuck Norris sh1t himself, knowing a roundhouse kick to the face was useless to Mr. T's pity
14. Mr. T invented nuclear power while wanking in the back of his van, the formula is pity(p) mulitpied by fools(f) divided by jibba jabba. This resulted in modern nuclear fisson - take that nuclear physics
15. Mr T does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Mr T goes killing.
16. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Mr T smoked 15! cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
18. Mr T counted to infinity - twice.
19. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Mr T
20. Mr T ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
21. When Mr T sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, Mr T has not had to pay taxes ever.
22. Mr T can touch MC Hammer.
23. Mr T sleeps with a night light. Not because Mr T is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mr T.
24. Mr T likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "eat", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Mr T and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
26. Mr T died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
2. Mr. T can walk on water. He can also walk on fire. His preference
however, is to walk on fools.
3. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
4. Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.
5. Contrary to popular belief, Mr. T was not beat by Sylvester Stallone in Rocky III. He actually lost to Stallone's stuntman, Chuck Norris. It took 5 hours of work by a dozen makeup artists to make Chuck Norris ugly enough to be a believable Stallone. Even with Chuck Norris, it was still necessary to use 3 metric tons of animal traquilizers to knock Mr. T out long enough for a 10 count.
6. When in the presence of Mr.T a magic-8-ball ALWAYS predicts PAIN!
7. The stork does not deliver babies; Mr. T throws them to your doorstep. The baby has already been blessed with his pity and branded a fool.
8. Satan sold his soul to Mr. T.
9. Mr T tried to break the speed of light in the A-Team van because he wanted to prove that quantum physices was a bunch of Jibba Jabba.
10. The police stopped him doin 100fps - thats 100 fools pitied per second
11. When Mr. T isn't busy pitying fools, he gives back to the community by teaching a Jibba Jabba As A Second Language class to immigrants.
12. Mr. T shot J.R
13. When Chuck Norris interrupted Mr. T's breakfast of diesel fuel and shovels, Mr. T stood up and Chuck Norris sh1t himself, knowing a roundhouse kick to the face was useless to Mr. T's pity
14. Mr. T invented nuclear power while wanking in the back of his van, the formula is pity(p) mulitpied by fools(f) divided by jibba jabba. This resulted in modern nuclear fisson - take that nuclear physics
15. Mr T does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Mr T goes killing.
16. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Mr T smoked 15! cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
18. Mr T counted to infinity - twice.
19. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Mr T
20. Mr T ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
21. When Mr T sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, Mr T has not had to pay taxes ever.
22. Mr T can touch MC Hammer.
23. Mr T sleeps with a night light. Not because Mr T is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mr T.
24. Mr T likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "eat", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Mr T and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
26. Mr T died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
